Two more days

8/14/90. [It is almost starting to become routine now. We are numb to the goings on of the outside world, biding our time inside our walled Kuwaiti townhouse]
We live another day. George and I walked down to the Iranian Bakery this morning, for bread. We were late. Only five loaves available. I think I'll start inputting this journal on the PC, just for something to do.

Today we are having a pool tournament. Yesterday was Round 1. I beat Sarah, narrowly. Lucky. Then she whipped my butt in cribbage. I drank a lot of wine yesterday. Seeing where all the forces are in the desert makes me feel a little safer in the place we're staying at. We go on day by day. "Day By Day" is an appropriate song.

(poetic thoughts)

Cried myself to sleep last night

Something about this place just isn't right.

You're not lying next to me

This is not the way it's supposed to be.

8/15/90. Payday. Ha! Yesterday, John, Claudette, George and I went back to the SAS Hotel for the last time. I through everything into my suitcase, except my new luggage caddy. Now all of my clothes are here at our “hideout.” Don't know if they'll go any further. There were visitors when we got back. Leoni and Gail, and Adrian and Minuo had stopped by. Adrian and Minuo had been over before. They all stayed for chili. Danny cooked it. It didn't even come close to yours.

1030 hrs. How are you holding up, I wonder? I hope the embassy is keeping you updated on my safety. Eight more days until our anniversary. Somehow, I don't think I will be home in time for it. Angry again. A few shots woke me again last night. Now I'm writing directly onto the PC. I hope the disk survives the trip (if there is a trip). Today is what? Wednesday, John tells me. Two weeks tomorrow. The people who came by yesterday are living in apartments along gulf road. They saw the German girl who was raped. Soldiers have searched their premises. I think they are probably within range of the machinegun nests that are now established on the gulf side of the road. The soldiers have laid brick barriers on the gulf road, to force vehicles to go slow and drive in a zig-zag, right in front of these machinegun nests. I don't know if the heavier stuff has been moved to the Saudi front, or onto the beach front. We can no longer see all the tanks that lined the gulf road a week ago.

1130 hrs. Wanda and Adrian went back to their home to gather more of their belongings. Last night the news announced that any Iraqi soldier caught looting, would receive the death penalty. Someone told Bob that today there is an Iraqi Colonel hanging from a crane. We also heard yesterday, that an Iraqi tank and a jet had gone to Saudi and surrendered themselves. Also, soldiers were asking people for civilian clothes. Maybe this thing will end easier than we figured.

1815 hrs. This is it! We will make another attempt tomorrow, on a route designated by the British Embassy. There goes my stomach again. Adrian got the word, because he met his warden in person, and we have a good size group already in one location. The rules: no phone calls, three to four cars max, one bag per person. Good-bye laptop, and just about everything else. About an hour ago, there was some heavy shelling or explosions nearby. Dear God, be with us tonight, tomorrow, and always. Shield us with your love and guide us out of this land. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Failed Escape Attempt

8/13/90 1430 hrs. Well Hon, I'm not writing this from a safe hotel room. We're back at Mario and Sarah's. We were so close, and SO in the center of the Iraqi defenses. Tanks and artillery were everywhere we looked. I think we tried over four routes. We were turned around at road blocks, over half a dozen times. God was with us. No major incidents. But...we didn't get out. My day went like this:


I was up at 0530. Took a shower at 0600. Listened to BBC. Put on our dishtashas (like we would fool someone). Left Mario's about 0830. Met at the guide's house about 0900. Left there around 0935. Destination: Saudi.

Every route we took ended up a dead end. After three tries, we came back. We were unloading the vehicles, when one of the Kuwaitis drove up and said there was another route to try, and that the guide was waiting for us. Most of the group had had enough. The two Bobs were still willing to try. Phill jumped in with them, George jumped in, so I jumped in their car too. We headed off. The three Filipinos were still game, as well. All my faith was with God. What would be, would be as God would allow.

God allowed us a view of the war zone, and brought us home safely. Something very large hit our windshield, right in front of Canada Bob's face. We all jumped at the thud, as it smashed into the glass. We made it thru a road block about 1230. Earlier in the day, we had been turned around at this same check point. I thought we were gonna make it now. We made it thru a few more check points. We even got off the main road and went onto the desert. I'm not sure how far we drove on the sand, maybe a mile or two. Then we came upon a road. I thought it was the road we saw on the map, on the Saudi side of the border. No such luck. A couple of Kuwaitis got their cars stuck in the sand. We all got out to help push. Probably all thinking of the Brit who was shot (I think doing the same thing). It was hot, dry and windy. And the spinning tires gave me a face full of sand. We managed to get the cars out, one being a station wagon. We drove on the road.

It was about 1330 hrs. Gas was getting low. I thought now, we would die out here. Iraqi tanks were parked along this route, to the left and the right. Target practice, anyone? Seems like we drove up and down the main line of their defenses. They are definitely dug in.

I am going to drink a lot of wine now. Don't want to run out of paper writing this journal. Nine days until our anniversary. Ninth, isn't it? I love you and miss you!

8/12/90 Sunday, and no church here for me to attend. Had a dream last night. I dreamt that the sky was filled with planes of all types. Couple of days ago, I dreamt I was home. That was pleasant. The wine must've helped me sleep soundly last night. Adrian and the others said there was close gunfire last night around 0230 hrs. It's 0800 now, time for BBC news. Egyptian President Mubarek says "there is no hope for a peaceful solution" now. So, we wait.


1540 hrs. Just put film in my camera and took some pictures on the roof. I left a roll at the SAS Hotel, in my suitcase I think. I took the film out of my camera when we came here, due to paranoia. If there's a way out, I don't think it will be through a search inspection point. Come on Marines, save the day!

Lunch today was soup. I think we're having lunch too early. We ate at 1330 hrs. But I'll not cause trouble under the circumstances, if I can help it. Under the circumstances, I would think that a late breakfast and an even later lunch would be best. It seems like we're all filling ourselves, and to me it just doesn’t feel right.

2110 hrs. Rumors are flying! Borders are open! Borders are open only to those trapped at the border already. Borders will be open in two to three days. Who knows what to believe? We are going to follow a Kuwaiti guide out tomorrow at 0700 hrs. This in the face of hearing that a Brit was shot doing something similar. Supposedly the person taking our caravan out has already taken his own family across the border, and returned to take out relatives. We have three four-wheelers. George and I are riding with Danny and Phil. We all have distashas to wear, so that we don’t stand out while trying to cross the dessert. God be with us, bless us, guide us and protect us. I'm scared. I think we all are. We're forcing down some soup. It may be our last meal....here in Kuwait. Carol, I will never leave you again, for any price. I'm going to pack this away now. I love you.

Trip back to hotel

8/10/90 Friday. More gunfire last night, but thanks to the wine that the Brits make in a large plastic garbage can, I managed to sleep through it all. Today we went to get "petrol" as the Brits say. Then John, George and I went to the SAS hotel. Amazingly, my stuff was still in the room. I grabbed my shorts, tapes, soap and shampoo. Sarah won't like my tapes. She's like you Bun, jazz isn't her favorite. Going to the SAS was scary. I think we did it just to do something. We were stopped by soldiers three times on the way back. I don't like being stopped by someone carrying a machinegun. My life is in God's hands. We weren't tempting fate. We decided that the soldiers weren't concerned with westerners at this point in time. There were plenty of soldiers on the gulf road. About every 100 feet or so, they were dug in with brick piles for protection.

Approx 1750 hrs. Gunfire from somewhere nearby! Voice of America says that the Iraqi ambassador says nothing can be resolved until the US is out of Saudi. Never happen, scumbag.

8/11/90 It's Saturday. The Arab summit (once it finally met) voted to send multi-Arab forces to Saudi. Your move Hussein. The radio says it can be a long time before us westerners are allowed out of Kuwait. We are pretty well stocked for food and water. Enough for a few months at least. Danny, Phill, Adrian, Wanda and Carrera went over to their respective residences today. We probably have enough homemade wine for six months now. Danny brought back more computer games, and his Commodore Amiga. Yesterday, I brought the laptop over from the SAS. The day before, Bob brought a big PC home from the bank, and also a laser printer. If only I could get word to you, to let you know how well we've adapted in our forced isolation. We are still prisoners, but we are comfortable and making the best of it. I pray daily for our safety, and for guidance out of this land.

There were soldiers in Adrian and Wanda's home. She walked in on them. Scared the s#@t out of her. They had also been in Danny's house, and taken his walkman. We have nothing here to defend ourselves with, except some kitchen knives. So far, it seems fairly secure in here at night. The gates are locked. The residences in this neighborhood are each surrounded by six-foot high brick walls. The windows are also barred. We slid some heavy chests across the front door to secure the entrance. We have three four-wheelers inside the grounds, fueled for our hasty departure. God help us. I miss you Carol, and I hope and pray to see you soon (to see you again period). But our minds can't think like that. We'd really go wacko. So, we just live each day, centered on this house, hiding from the frightening conflict occurring around us. I pray that God is with you, to soothe your stress and worry. Be well my love. Be blessed. I love you forever.

8/9/90 - Start of Week 2

[After a week, the frustration and anger demons started to get their grip on me. This entry definitely reflects a pity party - RS]


Good morning world. More gunfire, chanting and screaming last night. "Allah Akbar!" Seems everyone is getting used to it. George was snoring away. I was staring out his window, which faces the gulf, to see if any masses were heading this way. No marines from the beach yet. I laid in bed for a while, fully dressed. When I dozed off, I gave in and got undressed, and went to sleep. God has brought us into another day. The news said some Brits got out thru Iraq. I guess they were working in Baghdad. I keep wondering what the heck I'm doing here. George and John came over two months ago, and probably should have been brought home the first time it was reported that Iraqi troops were massed on the border. The rest of these people have been working here for years, for the big bucks. Except Claudette. She came for a vacation to be with John and their best friends, Mario and Sarah. John's expense account was a nice benny too. But me, I left the USA the same day it was reported that troops were lining the Kuwaiti border. Nobody at work would tell me not to go. We had a clause in the contract, "Force Majeure," but it was for future business relation considerations that they made me come over for. Never again! Inconsiderate bastards. Carol better make them pay, if I'm lost to my family. Guess I have an attitude today.

Saddam Hussein
will he bring chemical rain?
The man will rant and rave
how Kuwait will become a grave.
I don't think he will budge.
He seems to hold a grudge.
How long will it be
before he brings us misery?

8/8/90

0925 hrs. Thank-you Lord, for another day of life. Last night was pretty hairy. One or two groups of Kuwaiti's were making an assault, shouting "Allah Akbar" and firing their guns. They were close. George thought he heard a bullet hit the house. We were all gathered at the top of the steps on the landing, away from any windows. A couple of us went to the roof, at first. There was something firing from the beach area, leaving short red tracers in the sky, toward Kuwait city. The gunfire was too close to feel safe up there, so we came in. The group moved away and everyone went back to their rooms. I sat against the wall for a long time, listening. I suppose I was terrified, and the adrenalin was really pumping. Finally, I went and lied down on my mattress. I left my clothes and shoes on. A few times in the night, I would listen out the window. I don't know if I heard anything or not.


1000 hrs. We heard a loud boom! [It was frightening to be hiding behind the walls of our duplex compound, not knowing what might be coming our way at any moment. We had only been there a few days, so our senses had not yet become dulled to the world outside. No one knew what tomorrow might bring. I certainly didn’t anticipate how many more tomorrows of being trapped that I would have to suffer through.]

Sarah is taking inventory of our food, to figure out how many meals we have. Right now, we plan to sit tight. It’s too risky to go out looking for more food. I think we have enough for months. I pray we are evacuated before then.

1550 hrs. President Bush speaks in ten minutes. I'm making up a new dash bag (change of clothes, etc.), with what I have left to carry with me out of town. I also have my ditty bag that will suffice in a super emergency.

2020 hrs. I guess it's the Arab Nations' move next. Bush is defending Saudi, and demanding that Iraq "get out" of Kuwait. Iraq has annexed Kuwait. There should be a meeting of the main Arab nations in the next few hours. The evening prayer is sounding from the Mosque in the neighborhood square across from us. I know there are many prayers across the ocean for us as well. It will be nice to see you again. I hope the embassy has gotten word to you that we are still okay. They called yesterday, and again today. I’m hoping that one of the calls may be the one to tell us the way out.

8/7/90

I awoke about 5:00 AM. Finally got up at 5:30 AM, took a shower, and brushed my teeth. Didn't shave (that's three days now). We heard on the radio, that the UN Security Council voted to invoke the sanctions against Iraq. We also heard about all the ships heading to the Persian Gulf. We may see fireworks yet. I can't see Saddam Hussein budging.


Sylvia's embassy told the Filipinos to get a bag packed. They may go for the Saudi border. We gave her our phone number. Maybe if they go, she can call you to let you know we're fine, for the moment. I really get angry about being here.

Mario and Adrian went out this morning and brought back milk, cereal and fruit. They went out again for some bakery bread. Danny left for his place. I think he's coming back, but he thinks we'd be safer in his home. I think a move like that is too risky. I don't know how we'll get out of here. We're probably a mile or so away from the beach. The gulf road, with steady Iraqi troop movement, is in between. Our destiny is in God's hands. It has always been that way. Now it seems time is slipping. If I survive, will I be different? I'll be older, maybe even wiser. Will this ever be behind me?

Danny's back. He smokes. I almost bought a carton of cigarettes the first time we went to the market. Everyone tries to occupy themselves, reading, music, staring at the ceiling. It's pretty boring. Our highlight is listening to BBC radio every hour. Yesterday, I did aerobics with Sarah and Claudette. I'm a little sore today. We also try the phone once in awhile, for something to do. That faint hope, that just once, an international call will go through. We haven't been able to get through to the American Embassy since the first or second day. This sucks! Time to pluck the guitar. Maybe I'll make up a song.

1145 hrs. We were watching the last MASH episode (appropriate). I didn't plan on hanging out for the end. But.... First, something on the floor in my bedroom moved. I had the lights off cuz there's no curtains on the window in the room where my mattress is. It was big enough to catch my eye. I turned on the light. It was under my sheet. A big freakin’ cockroach. I killed it. Shook out all my bedding. Moved my mattress onto a wood table. Then... The gunfire started again. S@#t! There goes the stomach. It will probably be another restless night. God, please get us out of here.

August 6, 1990

I wish that I could call my wife to let her know I'm okay. I know she’s probably terrified. Be strong dear. Draw strength from God. No matter what happens, our bond is eternal.

I looked at the picture of the kids this morning, and showed them to Sylvia (Mario’s Filipino maid). She has a five year old in the Philippines. I feel like crying. My stomach is in knots. We can't get through to the embassy. Doesn't look like I'll be coming home Thursday, as scheduled. Sixteen days until our anniversary. I had ordered Carol a gold necklace with her name in Arabic. It would've cost me 30 KD. I was gonna pick it up tomorrow. Carol, I don't think you'll ever see that necklace. It's not really important though, is it? I miss you, the kids, the house, soft toilet paper, beer, Tostitos & hot sauce, freedom. Just to be at ease and walk the dog around the block would be wonderful right now.

If something happens to me, if I get killed (a possibility I must consider), don't think about how I died. Remember how I lived. Trust in God. Love the children. Love life. Grow old and be happy. I will always be with you. You can remarry, if he can love the children (who couldn't), and if they can love him. But do it for love, nothing else. But I'm not gone yet, and don't plan on leaving. When I get home, we'll go out for some Mexican food, after some major hugs and kisses of course. I am also missing my music. I left my tapes at the SAS hotel. I left my heart in Michigan. I'll get home, God willing. Lord, I pray You are willing.

1430 hrs. Three more bodies are joining us. Adrian, Wanda and their little girl Carrera. We hear this and that, and we wait and we wait. We are passing time by watching Lawrence of Arabia on the VCR.

1600 hrs. I closed my eyes and went home. Across the ocean and passed 7-eleven, down (what is that street?)...Davison, to Crestwood. I walked in the front door and saw you all sitting in the front room. I really did. I was there. I am there.

1700 hrs. Add two more to the guest list, Danny and Phill. I hope our host & hostess can maintain their calm. I hope everyone can. The neighbor of this townhouse duplex, Bob from Canada, is helping to handle the overflow. How much longer? Within 48 hours, something should break.

1710 hrs. We hear machinegun fire. Another adrenalin rush.

August 5, 1990

I was restless again last night. Got up about 0600 hrs, listened to BBC, then took a shower. No word yet, about when foreigners will be allowed to leave. The news got word about homes of private citizens being ransacked. Carol must be a wreck. Still no international communications. I'm okay, Bun. I love you. There is no situation that could change that.


1040 hrs. George, John and Mario went for a drive. I'd rather go for a plane ride.

Here I am, in the middle of a war, but I don't want to be here anymore. (short poetry)

Maybe I'll go next door and practice playing pool. At least there's that to do here. We heard some areas have lost water. There goes the adrenalin again. I restrung Mario's twelve string guitar yesterday. Now I'm getting blisters on my fingers.

1530 hrs. We can hear prayer time over the loudspeakers at the local mosque tower. Nap time for everyone here. I have been trying not to take naps. Afraid I'll miss something. Hard to keep my eyes open though. We had stuffed peppers for lunch. Yesterday it was chicken curry. We still have a good stock of food supplies. The guys bought some Iranian bread yesterday. It is pretty good. Like pita style, only a different grain.

I guess some of the tanks are gone, but they’re still checking people on the main roads. Don't know if we'll ever get to retrieve our belongings from the SAS Hotel. I wish I had those peanut M&M's.

Are we afraid to be Christians?
What might people say,
if I bowed my head in public
and closed my eyes to pray?

8/4/90 Day Three

On the third day, I changed my journal writing format into a letter writing style to allay Mario’s fears about me being mistaken as a spy. Although the world around us was in chaos, the activities within the walls of our compound seemed almost vacation-like. It was impossible to ignore our situation, but remaining behind closed doors gave us some semblance of sanctuary. All we could do was to keep a low profile, and wait.

Dear Carol, (I'll pretend this is a letter now.)

I know you couldn't imagine me in the comfort of an air conditioned home, while the country I'm in is at war. It has been quiet since the first day. We went out again to the market today for more canned goods. There were a few soldiers posted at different street corners. There was also heavy military traffic heading south. The international communication lines are out now. You're probably worried sick. May God keep you well.

I slept better last night, although I half-expected to be wakened for a search in the middle of the night. We played pool yesterday, then trivial pursuit in the evening, until after midnight. We still listen to the radio every hour, BBC. We hear Iraq plans to start withdrawal tomorrow. We think that highly unlikely. We are eating well for the moment. That little voice that I try to ignore, whispers to me that “any meal may be my last.” The embassy put out the word to stay put. It’s hard waiting. It will get harder still. God be with us. God be with my family.

We heard that the Iraqis confiscated a truckload of food being delivered to the SAS. Our rooms may be cleaned out by now. I left a big bag of peanut M&M's in the fridge in my room. Somebody said that the 747 passengers who were stuck at the airport, were moved to the SAS. Again, I'm glad we're at Mario and Sarah's, though I feel that I'm really imposing on them. I think we're missing that Christian bond. I bowed my head and said a dinner prayer this afternoon. Nobody said anything. I don't think anyone even noticed I was being reverent. I have strong faith in God, but not about by personal welfare. That really is such a minute concern. Not to the people who love me, of course. But then God loves me. That is not on the same level.

The waiting is harder for George & I. Our families are on the other side of the world, with no idea of how we are. We have no idea on how we will be. Sarah told me I could have these two Arabic dolls for Jesse and Jenny. Cost her 17 KD. After this ordeal, just a big hug should be satisfying enough. We are praying for such a chance. Well I am, anyway.

8/3/90 Day Two

Morning. It was a quiet night, although I didn't sleep for squat. When I did sleep, I had nightmares. I tossed and turned, waiting for more sounds of fighting. Thank God those sounds never came. I got up at 5:30 AM. I wanted to use the bathroom while everyone slept. Were they sleeping? Yesterday, we left the SAS Hotel so quickly, I never even brushed my teeth. This morning I brushed them twice. I even shaved and put on clean clothes. Not that I am going anywhere. I also managed to leave the hotel without any shorts. I borrowed a pair from Mario yesterday. They were pretty filthy at the end of the day, from climbing on the roof. I spent a few hours just gazing over the city, from atop of the water tank on top of the roof. Using Mario's binoculars, I could see the top of the SAS Hotel. I could see bits of the Persian Gulf also. I wouldn't mind being back on a submarine right now.

1020 hrs. I need something to do. Can't sleep. John's talking about going to the SAS Hotel and getting our clothes. He and Mario went by there this morning. They said tanks were on both sides of the SAS, some pointing out to the gulf, and some pointing inward. Scary.

"I will turn Kuwait into a graveyard." That's what Saddam Hussein said he'd do if there were any intervention. I can't get that out of my head. But in the big picture, we here are nothing, a minimal sacrifice. A bold move such as this invasion has to demand a response. Can there be anything short of a complete counter attack, to save as many people in Kuwait as possible, and to prevent Hussein's aggressive expansion? My biggest fear is right now is the chemical weapons.

1835 hrs. I just watched the sunset. Sarah gave everyone a tour of the kitchen; plates, microwave operation, espresso machine. We would get very familiar with not only the kitchen, but with every inch of that townhouse, including the crawl space in the roof.

2010 hrs. George got through to the US again. Can't believe communications are still going through. I don't know why I'm writing all this. Mario has strongly advised me to stop. If searched, this may be misinterpreted as spying. Funny, I just finished reading Tom Clancy's The Cardinal of the Kremlin. Now I think everyone's a spy.

It's dark out, but the lights are on all over the city. Adrenalin is still pumping. I think maybe it's time to force down another scotch. It is humorous to me, outside a war, inside, a small group of people watching a pirated video of Die Hard Two. I missed the end. Gunfire from somewhere outside distracted me.

Don't let me die in a foreign land
This is no place for a humble man
My wife and children across the sea
will not sleep well as they think of me.
As I sit here, I can't think anymore.
Will I wake again on the other shore?

end of day 1

I'm glad Carol and the children are far away from this madness. John's wife only arrived two days ago. She says she's glad she's here, at least she knows John's safe. I wonder how he feels?


I don't think anyone's mind will be on intimate matters. In this situation, psychologists might say our instincts are for survival. That is in God's hands. May he smile upon us this day.

The major events of the day, were the sounds of a couple Iraqi jets flying low over the city. John saw them when he was out. They bombed something. When I was on the roof, I watched three helicopters coming off the horizon in the west. I yelled for everyone to come up. By the time I looked back, I could now count eleven choppers. What a sight, coming right at us. More were coming, and then they veered south. They were on a mission. The airport! They were circling something off in that direction. Ricky (a Filipino that worked for Bob), said he counted 26 choppers. There were sounds of explosions. They circled like vultures. They broke off and headed toward us once again. I was worried that they were going to bomb the city. I guess not. They turned and headed back from where they came. We are definitely under siege.