August 6, 1990

I wish that I could call my wife to let her know I'm okay. I know she’s probably terrified. Be strong dear. Draw strength from God. No matter what happens, our bond is eternal.

I looked at the picture of the kids this morning, and showed them to Sylvia (Mario’s Filipino maid). She has a five year old in the Philippines. I feel like crying. My stomach is in knots. We can't get through to the embassy. Doesn't look like I'll be coming home Thursday, as scheduled. Sixteen days until our anniversary. I had ordered Carol a gold necklace with her name in Arabic. It would've cost me 30 KD. I was gonna pick it up tomorrow. Carol, I don't think you'll ever see that necklace. It's not really important though, is it? I miss you, the kids, the house, soft toilet paper, beer, Tostitos & hot sauce, freedom. Just to be at ease and walk the dog around the block would be wonderful right now.

If something happens to me, if I get killed (a possibility I must consider), don't think about how I died. Remember how I lived. Trust in God. Love the children. Love life. Grow old and be happy. I will always be with you. You can remarry, if he can love the children (who couldn't), and if they can love him. But do it for love, nothing else. But I'm not gone yet, and don't plan on leaving. When I get home, we'll go out for some Mexican food, after some major hugs and kisses of course. I am also missing my music. I left my tapes at the SAS hotel. I left my heart in Michigan. I'll get home, God willing. Lord, I pray You are willing.

1430 hrs. Three more bodies are joining us. Adrian, Wanda and their little girl Carrera. We hear this and that, and we wait and we wait. We are passing time by watching Lawrence of Arabia on the VCR.

1600 hrs. I closed my eyes and went home. Across the ocean and passed 7-eleven, down (what is that street?)...Davison, to Crestwood. I walked in the front door and saw you all sitting in the front room. I really did. I was there. I am there.

1700 hrs. Add two more to the guest list, Danny and Phill. I hope our host & hostess can maintain their calm. I hope everyone can. The neighbor of this townhouse duplex, Bob from Canada, is helping to handle the overflow. How much longer? Within 48 hours, something should break.

1710 hrs. We hear machinegun fire. Another adrenalin rush.