My first fast in Kuwait

8/18/90 Saturday 0755 hrs. Woke up at 0615, showered, and came downstairs to listen to the news. It was bad news. Iraq has announced that they are making preparations for keeping Westerners of the threatening countries, in military and key civil locations. The US and England can't allow it to go that far. I thought I caught mention of an attempt to kill Hussein, that was broadcast on the Moscow radio yesterday. Something has to give. I am going to attempt a fast today, in an appeal for our safety and ability to get along with one another. Last night, we played charades and drank some wine. Afterwards, some started airing their opinions about our situation. I have been keeping my mouth shut, and trying to stay out of the way. I have offered help anywhere that I could, but I haven't wanted to be intrusive. Sylvia has told me more than once, not to bother with the dishes. She didn't want me to do my laundry either. But the other women are feeling that some of us, like myself, are not doing a fair share. None of this is fair. As a prisoner in a life threatening situation, I really can't get excited about vacuuming or cleaning the house. Sorry. I think we're going to discuss the situation some more today, before any influence of alcohol. Just did a spell check. 7000 words here so far. Sure hope I can hand it to you to read. I miss you. I pray for you and the children. I pray for us all. Be well my love.

1040 hrs. [more poetry]
I face the door.
It could just as easily be a wall.
For I cannot pass through.
Am I near the end of destiny?
Does someone hold the key?
Does the door open in or out?
Where lies the answer?

1200 hrs. I'm hungry. I hunger for food. I hunger for your companionship. I hunger for answers. I hunger for the truth. Feed me, Lord. Fill me with your love. Show me the way.

[and still a little more]
I climb the mountain.
Here and there I slip, I stumble.
My grip is weak.
There is no clear path to follow.
Must I even reach the top,
to find an answer?
Could I have walked around the base,
to achieve the same results?
What does it matter now?

1300 hrs. John and Mario return from a food run. They are the hunters now, the holders of Malta passports, maybe safe from being rounded up by our Iraqi ransomers. Looks like they had a good hunt. Spent 70 dinars. John says there are machinegun nests set up over bridges, soldiers on the streets. May be the last venture outdoors for a long while. We haven't sat down yet to discuss our social crisis. Fill you in later.

1930 hrs. I'm hungry. I pray. It figures, a day I choose to fast, Sarah makes spaghetti. Me and that plate have an appointment at midnight. Wanda noticed I hadn't eaten, and got it out of me that I was fasting. "Trust in God." I do. Mario and John went for bread, but they were out. Food may get scarce here. We heard Iraq's warning that the westerners would suffer the same as the Iraqi children, due to the blockade. I love their choice of words. The Iraqi's have decided to "host" us. Host is the first syllable of hostage is it not? So, it's official, we are "host"ages. Pray harder, Randy. Church tomorrow. "Let my people go" you bastard! Can you bring judgment upon this man real soon, Lord? What is the plan? I need a drink of water. Oh yeah, we heard that those booms yesterday were caused by a Kuwaiti who loaded his car with dynamite, and rammed it into an ammo truck or something. There is resistance here, but it seems awful small. I sure hope they are communicating with the friendly forces. Love you. Will continue manana.

2020 hrs. Oops! Gunfire, maybe machineguns, real close. Sounded like it was across the street. Two hours till my fast is over. Dear God hear my prayers.